Saturday, August 06, 2005
Dear Dove,
Before being lured to your Web site by the promise of free deodorant, I didn't know that you could make the word "armpits" sound so dirty! I now realize that “underarm” is so much softer, smoother and more feminine … kind of like your new Dove deodorant, which I am trusting to transform my hairy, smelly and nasty armpits into this new definition of femininity. While you’re at it, could you get rid of the skin tags that popped up down there during my pregnancy? In fact, could you hire someone from Dove to come by and stand by my front door and apply deodorant to my armpits – I mean underarms – as I fly out every day in my quest to get to work on time? Because half the time, I forget to put any deodorant on, and I even have a variety to choose from: Ban, which I buy because it’s the cheapest, and Tom’s of Maine, which smells nice and was supposed to be healthier somehow for the fetus, but really doesn’t do crap for sweat.
Actually, all of this is irrelevant. My office is incredibly chilly. I never sweat here.
Thanks anyway,
Goddess
Before being lured to your Web site by the promise of free deodorant, I didn't know that you could make the word "armpits" sound so dirty! I now realize that “underarm” is so much softer, smoother and more feminine … kind of like your new Dove deodorant, which I am trusting to transform my hairy, smelly and nasty armpits into this new definition of femininity. While you’re at it, could you get rid of the skin tags that popped up down there during my pregnancy? In fact, could you hire someone from Dove to come by and stand by my front door and apply deodorant to my armpits – I mean underarms – as I fly out every day in my quest to get to work on time? Because half the time, I forget to put any deodorant on, and I even have a variety to choose from: Ban, which I buy because it’s the cheapest, and Tom’s of Maine, which smells nice and was supposed to be healthier somehow for the fetus, but really doesn’t do crap for sweat.
Actually, all of this is irrelevant. My office is incredibly chilly. I never sweat here.
Thanks anyway,
Goddess
