Modest Goddess

I have a question, doctor. Should I have done anything differently? Was this MY fault?
I'm not sure. Did you really want this baby?
Well, I did panic a bit when I found out I was pregnant.
Hmm. The baby must have absorbed that into its aura.
I mean, I did want it. After that heartbeat showed up, I was happy. I really started thinking ahead -- thinking about a new work schedule, setting up another bedroom.
But your committment wasn't 100 percent from the beginning, was it?
Um ... it varied.
I see. What else could have contributed to this?
Well ... I allowed myself to become sick. I got a stomach virus very early on, but it was before I even knew I was pregnant. Maybe that was enough to scramble some DNA.
Hum. What else?
Uh ... I kept drinking green tea even though I once read somewhere that it could interfere with cellular development.
Anything else?
I went jogging once. And kept emptying the cat box. I had a glass of champagne back in January. And I had a cup of coffee a couple of times.
With caffeine?
With caffeine.
I'm writing you a prescription. It's for a new drug. Take it the next time you become pregnant. It will make you 100 percent ambivalence-free. I think that will help.
Better post-date that scrip, doc.
Don't worry. You can fill it through 2012.