Modest Goddess

Hofstra University is now offering a graduate degree in journalism. I am excited about this, because I need to get a graduate degree in order to teach journalism, although everything I learn at the graduate level will almost surely be a repeat of everything I learned at the undergraduate level back at good old Newhouse. There is the mid-career program at Columbia, but even if I got into this program, which is doubtful, given my unspectacular undergrad GPA of 3.0-ish, I'd have no idea how to fund the tuition of something like $18K a year, or come up with a way to attend class while working 35 hours a week and taking care of my son.

Maybe I could talk the Long Island Rail Road into setting up a day-care car. There could be Pack 'n' Plays! A changing table! Balls that would roll about amusingly when the train lurched to a stop!

I could stand to sit around in a classroom a couple times a week with some unworldly young Hofstra students and show off all that I've learned in my years slaving away for newspapers. I'd prefer to skip this step entirely, but I seriously doubt that the overeducated people who'd be looking at my application would be willing to take on someone who'd stopped at a mere undergrad degree, who preferred to get out of school and get on with life.

I tend to agree with Times of London columnist Ron Liddle, however, who wrote this on Aug. 6: "What on earth is there to learn about journalism at postgraduate level? The point and purpose of our lowly, occasionally useful, trade could be scribbled on the back of a postage stamp and would easily be comprehended by a 14-year-old hoodie with ADHD and a carrier bag full of glue. Who has decided that it must be dignified with a doctoral thesis?"

Regardless, I've gotta open up my options here. As much as I love daily journalism, I don't plan to work nights, weekends and holidays for the rest of my life. I see longtime managers at my job who have to do this, and it makes me shudder. Plus I'd be a good teacher. It's a good fit for the bossy, know-it-all Cliff Claven side of me.