Sunday, December 30, 2007
So one egg made it to the fifth day. It is now on ice at the clinic in New York City. Unbelievably, I am submitting myself to yet another round of IVF. I had that inadequate uterine lining problem again -- so I need time to make it better. But it took my therapist, of all people, to point out that I should also try to get more eggs to transfer instead of just relying on my one egg -- which might not survive being thawed, and then might not implant. The odds would be much better with two or more. I wonder why my doctor didn't suggest this. I'd ask him, but I think I'm afraid of the possible answers: that he either thinks coaxing more eggs out of me is basically futile; or that it just didn't occur to him.
My doctor also mentioned surrogacy this month, but in an offhand kind of way, as he was wrapping up an exam. Surrogacy? For real? Should I start shopping around for wombs? I nearly hyperventilated as I was checking out at the nurses' station. But the wonderful nurse coordinator told me not to worry. I have conceived, she pointed out. That's not the issue.
But I wonder. In vitro fertilizations are more likely to result in ectopic pregnancies. And once a woman has an ectopic pregnancy, she's more likely to have another. Plus, I had that D&C after my miscarriage last year, and maybe that left scar tissue behind. Do I have an obligation to find a surrogate -- some other woman whose uterus would make a better home for my baby? Do those odds mean I have to give up whatever ego-driven desires I have to carry my child myself?
Enter Mom. No, not for her womb -- but for slyly suggesting to my 35-year-old sister that she volunteer hers. Middle sister is a true hero -- she stepped right up. I love her for offering to do this, but I don't want to suck her down into this hell. For now, I'll work on myself, take the process one step at a time, and try to get my body to act like it wants to be a plush home for a developing embryo or two.
My doctor also mentioned surrogacy this month, but in an offhand kind of way, as he was wrapping up an exam. Surrogacy? For real? Should I start shopping around for wombs? I nearly hyperventilated as I was checking out at the nurses' station. But the wonderful nurse coordinator told me not to worry. I have conceived, she pointed out. That's not the issue.
But I wonder. In vitro fertilizations are more likely to result in ectopic pregnancies. And once a woman has an ectopic pregnancy, she's more likely to have another. Plus, I had that D&C after my miscarriage last year, and maybe that left scar tissue behind. Do I have an obligation to find a surrogate -- some other woman whose uterus would make a better home for my baby? Do those odds mean I have to give up whatever ego-driven desires I have to carry my child myself?
Enter Mom. No, not for her womb -- but for slyly suggesting to my 35-year-old sister that she volunteer hers. Middle sister is a true hero -- she stepped right up. I love her for offering to do this, but I don't want to suck her down into this hell. For now, I'll work on myself, take the process one step at a time, and try to get my body to act like it wants to be a plush home for a developing embryo or two.
Labels: IVF surrogate
